Maternity Leave is not a Vacation.

Kate is 3 weeks old today. It's amazing how much she's already grown. Another week, maybe, in newborn diapers and then its on to size 1. She is also going to be grown out of some newborn sleepers soon.

Every day is different with Kate. Some days she's sleepy, some days crabby/fussy, other days alert and content. There is nothing predictable about her. At times it makes me mentally exhausted. I'm a bit of a planner, so it's hard adjusting to a spontaneous newborn. So I'm trying just to go with the flow and expect the unexpected, or just have no expectations at all. The nights have been okay, with last night being an exception. She is a very noisy and fidgety sleeper and still sleeps best when she's on my chest. Once in awhile I can sneak her into the bassinet without her waking. Another pound or two and she's not going to have a choice though. But overall I don't feel sleep deprived (knock on wood!)

I am getting bored in my little house though. There are moments when I feel like a nursing machine strapped to the couch in my little house. We were able to take our first walk outside last Saturday since the weather was so nice. 45 minutes of walking success! The weather has been rainy ever since, but it's supposed to get nice again by Thursday. Today we took a drive to a baby store in Northville so that I could purchase a baby sling/carrier. I'd been reading about all the benefits of baby wearing and Kate does not like to be by herself in a swing, bouncer, etc so I was eager to try something so that I could be hands free and both of us happy. I couldn't decide between the Maya Sling Ring or the Moby Wrap, so I bought them both. Big spender that I am. I've had her in the Moby Wrap since I got home and shes been very peaceful and I've been hands free able to accomplish things around the house. :) I am very impressed so far! Its comfortable and there are many ways to position her in it.

Tomorrow I have my post doctor visit with my midwife. I'm confident that I'm healing well so maybe I can get the ok to start some type of exercise. After the Dr appt. we are going to Dryden for another overnight at Grandma's. She did really well last week with her first overnight up there and it's nice to get away for a little bit. Although its a little tough on Daddy because he stays down here, I'm sure he enjoys the peaceful night of sleep though. :)

Getting Settled

Kate and Quinton meet. Lots of flailing hands and squealing. A slippery satin blanket probably didn't help. :)

Kate thinks that my bed should be her bed too. She is very comfortable sleeping in my bed and the minute I move her to the bassinet she wakes up and is pissed.

Photo shoot with Aunt Annie.

Kate and I are settleing into some routines in her second week. She is quite fun and adorable and I get easily sucked into her cuddles and coos. She had a few bumpy nights in the beginning where she thought she should stay up all night and sleep all day. It was pretty exhausting for awhile since I still had not recovered from all the sleep lost during labor. She has figured out that nighttime is for sleeping now. Last night she did really good sleeping from 10-10 only waking every few hours for a quick feeding and diaper change. I think all the Easter stimulation tired her out. She also slept most of the night in her bassinet. Her "bassinet" is a co-sleeper bed that butts right up to the bed and has a drop down side so it's easy to reach in and grab her or try and soothe her if need be. It's as close to sleeping in the bed with us that she can get, without actually being in the bed. However, she wants to be in the bed with me, specifically laying on my chest. Cute and cuddlely and it's easy to give into this, but it's not good for my sleeping needs. I never really go into a deep sleep when she's next to me, because I'm so aware of her. Plus I don't want this to become a habit. So last night we did the beginning of the night, when she was most sleepy in the bassinet and then as morning approached and she became more fidgety I pulled her in with me. Plus, when Ryan leaves for work we have so much room to spread out! :)

Overall, I think she is a very good baby. She isn't fussy to much and only cries if she needs something. She likes to be awake and alert in the day. I'm surprised at how long she will stay awake. Sometimes she just looks around and wiggles for 3 hours. And she is a wiggle-er. I think she will be strong and stubborn as she grows up. :)

Today I go for my 2 week post partum check up. It will be our first outing just the two of us. I'm feeling good and recovering well. I can't wait to start exercising again! I'm surprised at how much my tummy has already shrunk, now I just need to tone up everything. As soon as the weather gets warmer we'll start walking. Maybe by the weekend it will be back in the 60's. :) *crosses fingers*

Jaundice

So far we are trying to settle into life as a family and our biggest obstacle has been dealing with Kathryn's jaundice. I never realized it could be such a pain. Her bilirubin levels spiked on Friday at 16.8 and have come down to 15 today. So it looks like the worry should be over as it works its way out of her system. We've had to go back up to the hospital everyday since discharge so she could get her blood drawn and retested. The blood draw is a heel prick and then they squeeze the blood out into a vial. Her poor heels have been pricked so much already. The good thing is that we haven't had to go to the hospital lab everytime for these tests, which generally would be the standard. The nurses at the birth center have been welcoming us back to them, as long as they aren't too busy, and doing the test for us and sending it to the lab. They have been so AWESOME! I can't imagine not having them. They are so caring and supportive and really take time with us to make us feel more assured and comfortable and new parents. They've taken a lot of time with us to answer questions and concerns and they ask us a lot of questions too. We were there the other day for just the blood draw and we stayed for over an hour as they checked on how I was nursing, too make sure I was doing it right, and check her over, and ask lots of questions about how I'm doing and healing. It's made me feel much better as a first time parent because I tend to question a lot of what I'm doing. They've also been doing a lot of the phone calls to our pediatrician about her jaundice. They helped encourage home light therapy instead of having her admitted back into the hospital for light therapy. The billi blanket, as they call it, is really no billi blanket at all. It resembles a paddle that you place on the baby's back and then wrap her up in your own blanket. The paddle emits uv light which helps break down the billirubin so she can pass it out of her system. I'm also trying to feed her as much as possible. Overhydration can help flush it out of her system too. So dealing with jaundice has kind of taken over our routines. We go to our first pediatrician appointment tomorrow.

Other than that she's pretty adorable! She has her nights and day's backwards. Last night she kept me up all night long. I've tried napping a couple times today in preparation for tonight. My mom is here to help out now. Ryan goes back to work tomorrow.

Introducing Kathryn Elizabeth

Shes perfect. Born March 31,2009 at 10:31 am. 7 lbs 3 oz., 20 inches long. It took 36 hours of labor for her to make her grand entrance. It was an amazing experience both physically and emotionally.

Starting on Friday I had a sense that things were changing. I just felt she might be coming. An instinct I guess. Saturday I cleaned my house and tied up all loose ends to prepare for her arrival. On Sunday I woke up with the need to go grocery shopping again. I stocked up and when I got home I was exhausted. The rest of the day I was tired, kinda moody, and a little crampy. I even told Ryan that day that things may start happening tonight.

Sure enough around 10 pm I started getting some stronger contractions. I noticed they were developing a pattern of regularity so I started timing them. About every 10 minutes. Of course I got all excited and couldn't sleep from that point on. So all night I was trying to relax and sleep, but with little success. At about 6 am contractiong were about 6-7 minutes apart so I called into work, as did Ryan. My mom and Anne also headed down. At about noon contractions were 5 minutes apart and getting stronger, so we decided to head to the birth center. Excited and anxious. I was 4 cm dialated and 90% effaced, not considered active labor I was told by my midwife. I needed to be 5 cm dilated to be in active labor. It was frustrating to be told I wasn't in labor, when it sure as hell felt like it. I was given the option to stay and see if things progressed or go home until contractions felt stronger. We stayed until about 6 pm when they did another exam and nothing had progressed I was told to go home and rest. Take a benadryl and warm bath with strict orders to get some sleep. I was so disappointed but followed this advice. After a couple of benadryls, glass of wine, and hot bath I got about 1 hour of sleep. The contractions got too strong to sleep even with the aid of benadryl and wine. I was feeling alot of the pressure in my low back and hips. Walking or standing seemed to move the pain out of that area. So I paced the floors for a couple hours while Ryan, Anne and Mom watched on. Around midnight we decided to head back up to the hospital. I was so nervous and stressed out. I feared they would tell me I was still a 4 and to go back home. My stress level was pretty high at that point due to lack of sleep, frustration, and pain of contractions. After more than 24 hours of contractions and 1 hour of sleep I was having a hard time focusing on my relaxation. When the nurse checked me and reported that I was at 6 cm I cried out of relief and joy. Yes, I could stay now! The first thing we did was fill up the whirlpool so I could really get into my relaxation and better handle my labor.

The whirlpool and elation of being at a 6 gave me the 10th wind that I needed. I sat in the tub for about 3 hours. The heat was able to let me relax all my muscles so that I could let my body work with the contractions and not against them. During contractions I was able to close my eyes and focus on relaxing. Between contractions I was chatting with Ryan and Mom. Even Dad came in for a little while to visit. Mary, my midwife came in aroudn 6 am. When she checked me I was only at a 7 so we decided to break my water to move things along better. I was getting so tired and delirious at times I just wanted to finish the journey and meet my baby.

I think the tired ness was affecting me the worst. It was getting increasingly difficult to focus and relax. I wanted so badly to lay down and rest between contractions, but everytime I would get a contraction I would bolt straight up to stand up and walk through it. I was also having a hard time relaxing my hips and butt through contractions. I think it was because of the back labor I was having. I was trying to protect myself from feeling any pain in that area by tensing up. It was probably just making everything slower though. My nurse was able to convince me to sit on an exercise ball at the end of the bed and rest my head on some pillows. I reluctantly agreed to try. It was at this point that my hypnobirthing practice saved me. I was able to relax and open up my hips while sitting on that ball and just breath calmly through each contraction. I was in my happy place I guess. It was like a magical spell was cast over me and I was even able to get a few minutes of sleep. I'm not sure how long I sat there. It's funny how the whole experience is kind of just one big time warp. I just knew I was getting increasing inpatient and wanted to be done.

The whole experience of pushing Kathryn out is somewhat hard to describe. It didn't seem like it took too long once I started. It felt like an out of body experience somewhat. I was kinda freaked out by the way it just took over my body, and I didn't know what to expect. It didn't hurt. It was just intense I guess. And it was the greatest feeling once she was finally out! Mary tried to convince me to feel her coming out, but I refused. I just wanted to focus on getting her out! Ryan helped recieve her which is pretty awesome though. Once she was up on me it was complete elation and joy! We waited a little while to deliver the placenta, which was easy and felt great too. We were able to bond and nurse right away. I don't think she left my chest until a couple hours after. We had to ask for her to be weighed and measured, that's how laid back they were.

The whole natural birth experience was perfect and exactly what I wanted. I know it would have been very difficult to achieve without all of my preparation and practice though. It is hard work, and hard work requires adequate preparation. But it was all worth it in the end. My nurses and midwife were amazing. The birth center was AMAZING! It was so laid back, comforting and nuturing. I trusted every nurse there and they helped me tremendously. I never felt pressured or stressed out. It really didn't feel like being in a hospital, other than I felt extremely safe. I highly recommend them to anyone even thinking about going natural.

Now we are home adjusting to life as a family. I'm overwhelmed as I try and process everything that has happened in the last few days and how much my life has changed. I'm trying to rest and learn all the things I can so that she will grow to be healthy and strong.